Things I've Learned...

I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first, the passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when
something isn't working in my house, one
of my kids did it.

I've learned that the people I care most
about in life are taken away too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.

**someone sent this to me via email, and I thought it was worth posting.