Wednesday, January 19, 2005

A wee bit more of "The Novel"

I was going to post the whole chapter, but having not yet put it to paper, it's difficult. Anyway, our intrepid main character is at a trade show in Vegas where she's helping her boss, the VP of Nothing (as she likes to call him) show off the company's CRM software to the tradeshow vendors. They have no booth themselves, as the company is too cheap, so they're just showing up and opening up their laptops. Our main character, Mel, is nursing a significant hangover from the previous night...

My mobile is ringing. I search the laptop bag and answer it, clutching my head and shifting my weight from foot to foot, in an attempt to avoid the sizeable blisters that are forming.

So, I’m recognizing now that the three inch heels weren’t the best choice for tramping around at a trade show in Las Vegas. On top of my absolutely pounding headache, my unpredictable bowels, and my queasy gut, I can barely walk from all of the blisters on my feet. But I look great (apart from the green skin).

My job today involves secretly showing the company’s CRM product to as many tradeshow vendors as possible by running around in an obscenely short skirt with a laptop ready to go. So far, everyone I’ve approached has found me to be an annoyance, and has unceremoniously ushered me away.

“Mel Tucker,” I say into the phone, with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. Why the hell did I drink so much last night? Gawd, I can’t remember what even happened after I left the club with What’s His Name with the nice hair. Please, oh please, let me not have slept with him.

It’s the VP of Nothing on the other line. He’s come up with a rather strange and unethical plan that I’m apparently to be party to. Urgh.

I’m standing at a competitor’s CRM kiosk, nonchalantly clicking through their version 8 Web-based release. It’s my job to click through the screens, while trying not to obstruct the view of the kiosk window from the VP of Nothing, who’s 100 feet away, taking pictures with a 10x digital zoom camera from the mezzanine. This is not one of my proudest moments. My instructions are to not block the screen, wait 10 seconds between clicks, and to avoid helpful vendor reps who might want to “walk me through” the app. So far so good, but I’m only a quarter of the way through the screens.


At 7:28 PM, Blogger Diva said...

Okay, I just had Deja Vu.


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