Monday, March 21, 2005

From the Mouths of Babes

Benjy (singing Smash Mouth’s remake of “I’m A Believer”):

“Then I saw her face, now I’m a believer.
Not a trace. Get out of my mind!”

**************
Benjy: Sweetie meows a lot.
Me: Yeah. She’s in heat. I have to get her fixed.
Benjy: To fix her heat?
Me: Sort of.
Benjy: Because she meows when she’s hot?
Me: Yeah, something like that.

****************

Benjy: (playing with Barbie) This boy and this boy are going to get married.
Friend: No, two boys can’t get married.
Benjy: Can too.
Friend: No.
Benjy: Yeah, it was on the news! They can too. Ask my mom!
Friend: No way. Trillian, is that true?
Me: Hmmm. Your mom just called, it’s time for dinner.

*************

Frankie: Is it true that you have to spend money to make money?
My sister: Um. Sometimes. Where do you get this stuff?
Frankie: I don’t know. It just pops in my head.

*************

Frankie: Dad, is it true that if you kiss a girl you have to marry her?
Arthur: God, I hope not.
Me: No, you don’t have to marry them. But it is definitely against the rules for nine year olds to kiss. That’s a real rule. You’re not kissing girls, are you?
Frankie: No, but I give them piggyback rides. Jordan said that if you give a girl a piggyback ride you’re having sex.
Arthur: Well, Jordan's a dumb ass.

*************

Benjy: I know the Easter Bunny is just a Dad in a bunny suit.
Me: You do? How do you know that?
Benjy: Because bunnies aren't that big. That would be scary.
Me: What about Santa and the Tooth Fairy?
Benjy: What about them?
Me: Are they real?
Benjy: Mom! They're people! Remember, I sat on Santa's lap at Christmas. You were there. Geesh!

***************

Friend: Do you believe in God?
Frankie: Which one?

6 Comments:

At 8:05 AM, Blogger Rich Rosenthal II said...

My new pick up line: Hey baby I'm giving out piggyback rides. heh

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger Trillian said...

Heh heh heh. No kidding.

 
At 10:18 AM, Blogger Jennie said...

This whole thing cracked me up, but this was definitely my favorite part:

Frankie: No, but I give them piggyback rides. Jordan said that if you give a girl a piggyback ride you’re having sex.
Arthur: Well, Jordan's a dumb ass.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger sxKitten said...

I especially like the way you ducked the boys marrying boys issue - I'm anticipating a few of those with my own kids and their friends. The perils of being open with your kids :-)

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Trillian said...

Jennie: Hee hee. He really is a dumb ass, though.

SxKitten: Yeah, it's a bit of a rope walk around here. We live in the midst of "God's country" - lots of Pentecostals, Baptists, and Christian Reforms. I'd say the most liberal we get around here is our large contingent of Catholics.

I like to be open with my kids, but there aren't too many parents in these parts who would appreciate my views on gay marriage.

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger sxKitten said...

I know what you mean. We live on the fringes of the bible belt here, and my daughter goes to a Catholic school (at my ex's insistence). There are a lot of conversations I just don't start in the schoolyard because I know I'll be on the wrong side of the fence.

With our kids, we're pretty open but do warn them that not everyone sees things the same way. It makes for some interesting dinner conversations.

 

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