Monday, December 13, 2004

7 Tips for Women

I've made up a short list of important things women should know (in my opinion anyway). It may also be useful for men. I doubt that I'll enlighten anyone, but at least there's something new for you to read today:
  1. Door Etiquette. When someone holds the door open for you, don't put your hand up to the door to hold it too - it implies that you think they're going to close it on your face. That being said, you do have to make a judgment call in the cases where they're really just holding the door until you have hold of it - in those cases, they probably would slam it in your face.
  2. Shake Hands. When you meet someone for the first time you should shake their hand. I don't know what it is about some women, but they don't automatically shake your hand when you meet them, and I find that kind of rude. Maybe it's because I used to work with clients and business partners, but it just seems right to me to shake hands. I even shake hands when I'm introduced to people in the grocery store or at the playground. Better to shake than to offend, I think.
  3. Eye Contact. Make eye contact and smile when you pass people in the mall, on the street, or at the office. If you're in a creepy neighborhood or a prison, maybe not. But, generally, it makes me happy to have that one second of human contact. It makes them happy, too.
  4. More Door Etiquette. If someone holds the door open for you at Tim Horton's or McDonald's, let them in front of you in line. After all, if they hadn't held the door, they would have been in front of you in line anyway.
  5. Books on Tape. Listen to books on tape (or CD) in the car when you go on long trips alone. I live 45 minutes away from work, and I find that if I have a book to listen to, I look forward to the drive, and am less likely to suffer from road rage. Most libraries, even my rinkie dink town, have a good selection of books on tape, and they can order them from other libraries, too.
  6. Warm Bodies. Try to turn down your spouse's advances as little as possible, even if you're tired. Why? It keeps your romance alive, reminds you why you love them, relaxes you, hopefully is enjoyable, and puts you in a better mood. It also keeps you both closer, and hopefully encourages them to snuggle you and rub your feet.
  7. Call your Mom. Never mind that you don't have anything to say, or that they could call you. Mom's like being called, even if it's just to say hi and make sure everything's ok. Some day she won't be around, and then you'll wish you had called her more. Ditto for your sisters.


At 2:14 PM, Blogger Rachel - Wicked Ink said...

Further to the hand shaking: Your hand should be vertical with your fingers together and your thumb spread wide from your palm. Insert your hand into theirs and don't stop until the corner between your thumb and palm meet the same spot on their hand. Use a firm (but not overpowering) grip, and curl your fingers around the width of their fingers.

Slack wristed, fingers barely touching, palm down "kiss my hand" is not a hand shake, and is more damaging than no shake at all.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

At 6:14 PM, Blogger Trillian said...

Great advice! I've had those limp fish handshakes, and you're right - you might as well not even shake hands.

At 8:32 PM, Blogger Kate said...

Good advice, Trillian.
I used to shake hands in my previous job, but some people seemed put off by it. Mostly women, now that I think of it.

At 1:37 AM, Blogger Kicking Bitch said...

**Most of the people I've had that don't shake hands are men, which tells me that women do not normally shake.

**You SHOULD make eye contact in creepy neighborhoods because it says that you are not to be f****d with AND you know what they look like.

**If I live with my mom do I have to call her?

At 7:03 AM, Blogger B1RDIE Num Num said...

Gosh, I'm beginning to feel rather bad mannered now. I shall have to pull my socks up and stick to my New Year Resolutions and reciprocate.

Door openings is something I always do, but I find it highly amusing when I struggle with a heavy wooden or stiff door (I'm a lightweight) and along comes a lady and easily pushes it open so nonchalantly. I'm in fits of laughter - I'm sure I should be embarrased, but its just so funny.

At 8:39 AM, Blogger withknivesout said...

thanks for putting up such an awesome post.

At 11:06 AM, Blogger Wheelson said...

Yea, women really do need to learn how to shake hands better. When I get introduced to a woman and I go to shake their hand and very often I get a surprised look like, " want to touch me? That's what men do, well, ok, here's limp limb for ya."

If they're over 60 that's cool but I usually don't say "Put'er there pardner!" to a 60 year old lady. No, I'm talking about women who are my age.

I would also enjoy more eye contact, but then I'll notice how guys look at women. It's really disgusting most of the time. If guys didn't leer so much then maybe they'd get more smiles rather than look ahead, no eye contact super fast walking right by.

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Francesca said...

Hmmm...eye contact. I have mixed feelings about that. I'm originally from Italy and there are very complex rules about eye contact there. Men can look a woman right in the face as they pass her, even bore a hole in her forehead with their gaze, but it's generally not a good idea for a woman to make eye contact with a man. After living in the US for so long, I forget and make eye contact when I'm in Italy. In many cases, I've gotten myself into unwelcome conversations and flirtations because I made eye contact with a stranger on the street.
Here in the US, I've lived in big cities and smaller ones. I've found that eye contact is generally not welcome in a big city, but somewhat expected in smaller ones.
So it seems like this issue is an engendered construct, but has a lot to do with geography as well.

At 11:16 PM, Blogger Diva said...

Very good advice, IMHO. I agree with your handshaking comment. The only thing that bothers me is women who crush my hand when shaking. There is "firm" then there is "ouch, that really hurt!" I know it's a power thing with men with the "I'll crush you with my hand" (or, "if we were dogs, I'd pee on your pee") but just "firm" will do, thanks.


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